So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
