This is not my ceiling
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
