I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I enjoy the company of your penis
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