I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me