just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
