I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
