I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
