Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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