i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
