i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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