I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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