Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i need to put some appletini on your dick
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
