to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
