We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
