return my video game
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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