I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
