She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
