hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
