i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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