dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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