O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
