Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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