thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
