He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
