Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize