he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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