He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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