You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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