he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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