Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
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Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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