My cat gives me a boner
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
