there were more penises there than on chat roulette
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
did you just send me my own nude
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
