the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
