I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
This house was built for laser tag.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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