some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
