Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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