I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im holly from the hills drunk
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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