Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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