im drinking this country out of the recession.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
