Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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