just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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