I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
