Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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