"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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