I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
