I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize