Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize