I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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