This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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