y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
