yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
