4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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