I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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