I just made out with a guy for $7.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
