ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize