After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
