Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
