I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize